Hello Sweet Friend,
I know in all of our lives there are people who hurt us. There always will be because we are flawed humans. What I struggle with is when to cut people out.
I have said before that forgiveness is not an option for me. No matter what has been done to me, I will work through it and get to a place of forgiveness towards the other person.
This does not mean that I am not hurt anymore or what they did doesn’t matter. This means that I deliberately choose to work through my hurt and not let it control my life.
I don’t want to walk around bitter, irritable, and hard all of my life.
So how do we forgive others and cut them out?
When do we forgive others and reconcile?
It depends on the person and depends on the hurt. Some hurts take longer to heal, and some relationships will never be the same as they were.
Once trust is broken, it is like breaking glass and trying to tape it back together. Its really hard to rebuild and will never be perfect again.
I believe that you can be super super hurt, and still work to get to a place of forgiveness.
I believe that you can choose to no longer have a relationship with someone who hurt you, but not wish any ill on them. You can love them from afar, and wish the best for them.
We don’t have to be hard, closed off, and full of hatred.
Sometimes we have to remember that hurt people hurt people. How others treat us has WAY more to do with what is going on in their life, than it has to do with us.
We should look on them with compassion. They are hurting so badly that the only way they feel better is pushing others away, and hurting them. Sounds like a sad way to live.
It takes time to be able to look at someone with compassion once they hurt you really bad.
It takes time to forgive.
It takes time to figure out if you still want them in your life or not.
But it is also a choice.
You get to choose to forgive someone and not let the hurt rule you.
You get to choose your boundaries and who you are going to allow in your life.
You get to choose how you are going to think and talk about those that hurt you.
Or you can choose to live your life hard, irritable, hateful, and closed off.
You don’t have to let a hurt rule your life. It will still hurt and be valid even after you deal with it. Dealing with it does not take away its significance. Dealing with it takes away the stronghold it has on your heart.
I hope you choose to allow your heart to be lighter.
I hope you are picky with who you allow into your life.
I also hope that you give people grace and space to be the flawed humans that they are.
From someone who struggles with dealing with hurt,
From someone who has been hard, irritable, hateful, and closed off,
From someone who does not want a heavy heart,
From someone like you,