Hello Sweet Friend,
One of my goals this year is to improve the way that I speak to myself.
We talk to ourselves more than we talk to other humans. Our voice is constantly in our head throughout the day. This is why it is so important to pay attention to what you say to yourself.
What you say to yourself, becomes how you think about yourself, which becomes how you treat yourself, which will become how you act, believe and let others treat you.
It starts with one thought. One story that you tell yourself about yourself.
I grew up super negative. I was not nice to myself what–so–ever. In volleyball, I was a starter, but my coach benched me until “I was nicer to myself” because “you are killing yourself, kid.” And I was. No wonder why I was so unhappy, the voice I heard the most was so critical and harsh. I felt suffocated, paralyzed, and straight-up not enough.
If I couldn’t be enough for myself who would I be good enough for?
If I didn’t see value in myself who would see value in me?
I learned that it takes just as much effort to be nice to myself as it does to be mean to myself. I have just been mean for YEARS so it is my default. I have to work harder to rewire and catch myself and switch it to kindness.
Besides being benched in volleyball, I was asked “would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself?” I was shocked. Heck no I would never speak to a friend this way. I would never allow a friend to speak to me that way either. So why was I allowing me to say these things to myself?
I know we are all our biggest critics. What if we could be our biggest fans instead? What if instead of tearing ourselves down, we loved ourselves through mistakes and through hard times? How would you live differently if the voice you heard most often was the most loving, kind, and encouraging voice you hear?
Maybe you would stop holding yourself back. Stop living in fear. Go for the things you desperately want in life. Wear what you want. Not crumble at the words of another person as much as you used to. Maybe you would be a better friend. Maybe you would all around be a kinder person.
What you say to yourself becomes what you think about yourself.
How you think about yourself will become how you act and treat yourself.
How you act and treat yourself will be how you allow others to treat you.
It starts with one thought.
One foot in front of the other to be better each day.
To love yourself more each day.
Be patient with yourself.
From someone who is tired of being my own biggest critic,
From someone who is learning how to be kind to myself,
From someone who is choosing to change how I speak to myself,
From someone like you,