1/3/20

I spend a lot of time feeling like I am supposed to be doing something else.

I feel like where I am at in life is not good enough.

Like I am failing.

Maybe this is you too.

I had this picture in my head of what my life should look like right now. How much money I should be making, where I should be living, the relationships I should be having. This picture suffocates me. My life looks pretty much nothing like this picture.

How does one continue to live when you feel like you are living life wrong? What do you do then? How do you transport yourself into that picture where everything is how it is supposed to be?

You don’t.

That’s the hard part.

Society as a whole has these expectations for everyone’s lives that I feel are unfair. We are all brought up differently. We all have different talents, gifts, and things we suck at. So why should we be bound to the whole “Go to college, get a degree, get a job, get married, have kids, retire, die.” Or as I like to say, work my whole life to retire and die.

That doesn’t sound fun to me, but it is the normal. We are told to ignore the dreams in our heart to get a job that is stable, and most of the time, makes us unhappy. Then we wonder why there are so many unhappy people in the world.

When you ignore the dreams of your own heart, how could you be happy?

When you are constantly being molded into who you “should be” how could you love yourself for exactly who you are? Then people wonder why there are so many people who struggle with being themselves.

So what do we do?

Do we live unhappy with our lives and who we are?

Just so we can fit in with everyone else and do what is normal?

If that is what you want, then do it.

Just know that, everyone is always going to have something to say about anything you decide to do. I mean it. You can do all of the right things, everything you are supposed to do, and there will still be people who have something to say about it, or who disapprove.

You get to choose whether others are going to talk crap about you for being normal and doing what you think you should be doing, OR for being crazy and following the dream that screams at your heart. Either way, like I said, people will talk.

You get to choose each day what life you want to live. Maybe it won’t ever look like the picture you have in your head. Maybe it will be better, who knows. But it starts with living the life YOU want. Not the life you “should” be living.

“Should” is a word of shame. It is an illusion.

Stop using it.

Instead, let’s start giving ourselves credit for how far we have come, how hard we have worked, and for the silent battles we have faced. Stop being so dang hard on yourself, you are doing your best.

We are exactly where we are supposed to be in this moment. We have the power to decide our next move.

So, Whats yours?

Mine is, Each time I feel bad about where I should be, or when I feel not good enough, I am going to remind myself of how far I have come. I will remind myself that should is an illusion. I will remind myself that people who do what they “should” be doing are usually unhappy, and ignoring their big dreams.

I want to go after my big dreams. Even though I have no idea what I am doing. Even though I am terrified.

Each of us have special gifts and talents that were made for us to help fulfill the big dreams in our hearts.

Let’s not let them go to waste.

From someone who has dreams so big, she’s scared of them.

From someone who is tired of doing and being who she should be.

From someone who wants to just “be”,

From someone like you,

Bela.