Something that I struggle with daily is feeling “not good enough.” Like something in me is bad and causes others to look down on me or not like me. I find myself feeling like I have to perform and please others.

The past few years I’ve been redefining my relationship with God. I grew up religious– feeling like I have to do all of the right things to be enough. Go to church, wear the right clothes, don’t mess up, make sure to read my bible, pray, obey, be kind, and love others. While these are all great things to do, I was doing them because I thought I HAD to. I thought that is what “good christians” did.

After these few years I am not religious. I don’t believe that doing anything will make me good enough. I don’t believe there are “good Christians.” I believe there are human beings who are flawed and have a deep sense to be known and loved. I believe there are people who have done some messed up things or are stuck in a rutt that are just as loved as someone who stepped out of church doors.

In the bible, some of the people who Jesus hung out with, loved, or used for his plans had been murderers, liars, thieves, sex addicts, and evil hearted. He loved them all the same. They were all able to live in his love and teach it to others despite their pasts. Jesus didn’t look at those people and see their sin, he looked at them and saw his love.

He looks at you through his love as well.

We forget that these “things”, accomplishments, mistakes, or statuses aren’t what makes any of us valuable. Going to church, reading your bible, praying, and not messing up doesn’t make you a “christian.” A relationship with Jesus does. Now, maybe you go to church, pray, and try your best to obey as PART of your relationship with him– but at the end of the day it is your heart that he wants. If you are doing it just to do it, you might as well not do it at all.

He knows your heart.

He knows your heart. Which means he knows every little thing about you. All of the good and all of the… not so good. and guess what!! He loves you anyways. It is not about being perfect and good enough. It is about learning who he is and what he thinks of you. You are already loved. You are already good enough. You don’t have to earn it.

You are a human. You are going to mess up every single day. You are going to make mistakes that hurt and you wish you could take back. You are still loved and enough despite all of this.

He knew every single choice you were going to make before you took your first breath, and loves you anyways.

I have spent these past few years relearning my relationship with Jesus. I am not religious. I don’t like to use the word Christian anymore because it has become tainted.

I don’t stand for judging people. I don’t have the power to do that. I don’t believe in having to have it all together to be good enough. I don’t believe going to church, and doing good makes me good. I don’t stand with the “christians” who treat others differently based on their past, beliefs or looks. All humans including you will mess up and are loved anyways.

I love Jesus. I love who he is as a person. I love how he treats people with no judgment, shame, and with nothing but love and compassion. I love how he meets us where we are at, even in the middle of our biggest mess. I love how he loves me no matter what. I want to live life like him. I want to treat others how he did. I want to look at others and myself with nothing but love and compassion. I want to love all people whether I agree with them or not.

When we let the things that we have done or are doing become bigger than what Jesus did for us, we have a problem. When we view people through the lens of their mistakes instead of seeing them for someone that Jesus died for, we have a problem. You are just as bad of a sinner as everyone else, and so am I.

But we are loved anyway.

We are good enough anyway.

Not because of a single dang thing that we have done. But because Jesus sacrificed himself. He died for every single bad thing ever done. We are not good enough because of our accomplishments. We are good enough because of him.

Without him we are nothing. With him, we are love and more than enough.

It is not about you. It is not about being good enough. It is not about performing to be liked.

It is about knowing who’s you are. Knowing that you are loved and live in that love. Get to know the one who handmade you in your mothers womb. He thinks you are pretty amazing and I hope one day you will be able to see yourself the way he does. He is pleased with you.

He loves you.

Nothing will ever change that.

It is time for you to live like you are loved.

Are you living FOR love or FROM love?

From someone who is loved,

From someone who is enough,

From someone who is learning to live from love,

From someone like you,

Bela.