2/6/20

I used to think that I was the only one.

The only one going through a hard time. The only one who had insecurities and flaws. The only person who had a hard time liking themselves. I thought I was the only one, and I felt alone.

I felt like no one understood me. Like no one could relate, and if I told them what I was struggling with, that I was less than for having struggles. I thought that the smiles people showed were real and that something was wrong with me because I knew that mine was faker than barbie.

I thought I had to hide my struggles and hurts because if anyone knew how I really felt…. they would see how flawed I am. I thought that meant i wouldn’t be good enough.

I remember one of the first times I talked to a close friend about how I was feeling. That I kind of like myself but it is hard, and I am mean to myself. She listened to me for a little longer and said “Me too.” “I feel that way too.”

My heart felt like it was on fire. I wasn’t crazy? Other people struggle? My pretty friend has insecurities too? It is normal to have struggles??

Wow.

Slowly, the more I connected with others and started to share struggles, the more I saw that others had similar ones. The more I realized that we are all flawed humans. We all have struggles and hurts that are hard to talk about. We all are fighting silent battles. We all want to be loved for exactly who we are in this moment.

We all bleed the same, just from different cuts.

Maybe you struggle with feeling alone and like you are crazy for having struggles.

I get it. I still feel alone sometimes. It is hard to remember that EVERY human on this planet has some sort of hurt, insecurity, or struggle. It is hard to remember this because most people do not show their struggle or talk about it.

I still have that little voice in my head that tells me I am crazy or not good enough when I am going through a hard time.

Here is the truth. Struggles, hard times, and insecurities do not make you LESS of a person. These are actually the things that build your character and help build you into who you were created to be.

You will never live a single day on this earth where you don’t have a struggle, hard time, or insecurity present in your life. Everyone has them and we should love ourselves through them. We should learn how to live DESPITE them.

The next time you think “oh gosh, i hate my legs i wish they were_____” Change the thought. “My legs could be better, but I am SO thankful to have legs that are strong. They hold me up and support me and help me get places and for that I am thankful.”

“I hate how my nose looks. I wish it was smaller and cuter.”

“I am not the biggest fan of my nose, but I am SO thankful that I can smell all of the wonderful scents in this world. I am so thankful that i can breathe through my nose so i don’t have to mouth breath all of the time.”

You don’t have to like something to love it. The more you show love to something you dislike, over time you will slowly grow to like it.

We all have something that happened to us that we wish didn’t. That hurts our heart when we think about it. This does not mean that you are flawed. It means that you are HUMAN.

I think it is beautiful to watch humans go through hard times that they thought they would never make it through and see them come out the other side stronger. They have more of a confidence in themselves. They learned things they otherwise would not have learned.

Pain is a great teacher. If you are in pain right now, rest assured, you are not the only one. This will not last forever.

Challenges will come, but they will not stay forever.

You are not crazy for feeling the way you do. You are not less than for having struggles and insecurities.

You are not alone. I am right there with you, along with thousands of other humans.

Sometimes we have to fight silent battles to show others that they can be won.

We will be stronger for it.

From someone who is fighting silent battles,

From someone who struggles with feeling alone,

From someone who is imperfectly human,

From someone like you,

Bela.