1/9/20

You will never be “too much” for your people.

I struggle with being who I am. I constantly feel like I need to be less, or act a certain way to fit in. I often feel like I am “too much.”

I really value respect. I also really value integrity. I have worked long and hard to learn how to set personal boundaries for myself, to protect my heart.

Once I learned that I could say no to hanging out with people, and really I could say no to anything that hurts me– without feeling bad— things changed.

When I wouldn’t allow a break in my boundaries, I was told that I was too much.

When I stood up for what I believed in (in a respectful way) I was told that I was too much.

When I decided upon standards of those who I will allow close to me, I was told I was too much.

I dress too nice. I try to hard. I act perfect. I am too bold.

I’ve heard it all.

The people who get mad at you for having boundaries are those who benefited from you having none.

Read that again.

When you are “too much” for someone, you are simply just growing faster than them. Maybe you are more mature, more confident, more knowledgable in certain areas.

“Too Much” is code for, dim down. Shrink. Become smaller. Don’t be as confident. Don’t be intimidating. Don’t be strong. Act dumb.

It can show the insecurities in others.

When you are “too much” for those around you, chances are you are hanging with the wrong crowd. This doesn’t mean to ditch them all and be mean. I am telling you to find people who push you to be more.

What???

Be more?

Think bigger?

Yes, exactly what I am saying.

In my experience, once I started being picky who I spend quality time with and the kind of people I what to be around, I realized I don’t think big enough.

That was so freeing to me.

I have felt like I have lived in a box my whole life. Sometimes around certain people or when I doubt myself, I still feel like i’m “too much.” When I feel like this I have to remind myself that I will never be “too much” for the right people.

The right people will push you to be better, think bigger, be more confident, be smarter, be MORE. They want you to succeed. They want you to be more of who you are. The right people want you to love yourself and are happy for you while you are doing all of these things.

Find those people.

You become who you surround yourself with. Those that you spend the most time with will shape who you become.

You have permission to be picky about who you allow to be close to you.

Protect the peace in your heart at all cost.

Think bigger.

From someone who is struggling to accept herself as she is,

From someone who is working on protecting her peace,

From someone who is learning to be who I am,

From someone like you,

Bela.